In some of the classic Unity texts, like
Lessons in Truth by Emilie Cady and
The Revealing Word by Charles Fillmore for
example, there are references to a spiritual process called
chemicalization.
In Rev. Paul Hasselbeck’s
book
Heart-Centered Metaphysics: A Deeper
Look at Unity Teachings, chemicalization is defined as “the experience of
inner conflict and upheaval that occurs when aspects of our consciousness
resist the transformation process.
This
happens when a high spiritual realization conflicts with a belief that is
contrary to the new realization.”
I have been experiencing my own version of chemicalization lately.
If you have read my blog posts in the past,
you know that I recently set out to test the Law of Mind Action.
But while trying to prove to myself that the
Law of Mind Action worked in a particular way, I actually discovered that it
doesn’t work at all in the way I thought.
In fact, everything I had learned over the past fifteen years about abundance
consciousness was completely turned upside down by my experiment.
The result of this upheaval has been a lingering sense
of disenchantment, disappointment and general inner turmoil, as well as
diminishing enthusiasm about Unity principles and about spirituality in general.
In fact, I have been so undone by what I
discovered during that experiment that I have actually considered abandoning
Unity altogether.
Unity teachings didn’t
seem to fit with my new belief system.
Thank goodness I made a commitment months ago to complete the
Metaphysics I, Part I, course with Rev. Rachel Sue Ritz for S.E.E. credit
through Unity Institute. So even though
I haven’t been feeling very warm and fuzzy about Unity teachings lately, not
wanting to renege (read as “fail”) on that commitment, I recently forced myself
to read through the assigned chapters again and to complete the requirement
homework assignments. As I read, an
amazing thing happened. I discovered
that the new realizations I have been struggling to assimilate into my consciousness
– and which have been causing such inner conflict for me, are actually perfectly
expressed throughout the Unity teachings.
I don’t know how I missed them before.
In fact, everything I read nowadays from Unity is in perfect alignment
with my new way of thinking. How could I
have gleaned something so different from the Unity teachings in the past? It’s remarkable how a shift in the mind can
create such a huge shift in perception.
Before I set out to test the Law of Mind Action, I believed
that if I minded my thoughts and practiced my affirmations and developed
crystal clarity about what I wanted, God would give me all of my heart’s
desires. And I thought that the reason I
still wasn’t getting what I wanted, after all these years of practicing, was
that I just hadn’t perfected my affirmation process yet. What I discovered through my experiment was
that if I mind my thoughts and practice my affirmations and develop crystal
clarity about what I want, I can tap into a flow of divine ideas which empowers
ME to achieve my goals. God isn’t in the
business of giving me what I want. God
is in the business of BEING – of being love and oneness and creativity and
beauty. . . It is MY job to cultivate an
awareness of my oneness with Spirit and to take action in the direction of my
dreams. On the one hand, I have been
extremely disappointed to learn that God is not ever going to step in and take
care of my affairs for me. I guess I have
been waiting for a white knight to rescue me.
On the other hand, it is tremendously empowering to know that I have
everything I need inside me to accomplish whatever I set out to
accomplish.
I didn’t realize how deeply this experience was affecting me
until I started reading about chemicalization.
I thought that my feelings of inner conflict and turmoil were an
indication that there was something wrong with me or with my belief system. I am
thankful to have a word for what I am going through. I’m also thankful to know that, at least for now, the Unity teachings
are still a solid source of spiritual nourishment for me.
~REBECCA
