Chemicalization

In some of the classic Unity texts, like Lessons in Truth by Emilie Cady and The Revealing Word by Charles Fillmore for example, there are references to a spiritual process called chemicalization.  In Rev. Paul Hasselbeck’s book Heart-Centered Metaphysics: A Deeper Look at Unity Teachings, chemicalization is defined as “the experience of inner conflict and upheaval that occurs when aspects of our consciousness resist the transformation process.   This happens when a high spiritual realization conflicts with a belief that is contrary to the new realization.”  

I have been experiencing my own version of chemicalization lately.  If you have read my blog posts in the past, you know that I recently set out to test the Law of Mind Action.  But while trying to prove to myself that the Law of Mind Action worked in a particular way, I actually discovered that it doesn’t work at all in the way I thought.  In fact, everything I had learned over the past fifteen years about abundance consciousness was completely turned upside down by my experiment.  The result of this upheaval has been a lingering sense of disenchantment, disappointment and general inner turmoil, as well as diminishing enthusiasm about Unity principles and about spirituality in general.  In fact, I have been so undone by what I discovered during that experiment that I have actually considered abandoning Unity altogether.   Unity teachings didn’t seem to fit with my new belief system.  

Thank goodness I made a commitment months ago to complete the Metaphysics I, Part I, course with Rev. Rachel Sue Ritz for S.E.E. credit through Unity Institute.  So even though I haven’t been feeling very warm and fuzzy about Unity teachings lately, not wanting to renege (read as “fail”) on that commitment, I recently forced myself to read through the assigned chapters again and to complete the requirement homework assignments.  As I read, an amazing thing happened.  I discovered that the new realizations I have been struggling to assimilate into my consciousness – and which have been causing such inner conflict for me, are actually perfectly expressed throughout the Unity teachings.  I don’t know how I missed them before.  In fact, everything I read nowadays from Unity is in perfect alignment with my new way of thinking.  How could I have gleaned something so different from the Unity teachings in the past?  It’s remarkable how a shift in the mind can create such a huge shift in perception.   

Before I set out to test the Law of Mind Action, I believed that if I minded my thoughts and practiced my affirmations and developed crystal clarity about what I wanted, God would give me all of my heart’s desires.  And I thought that the reason I still wasn’t getting what I wanted, after all these years of practicing, was that I just hadn’t perfected my affirmation process yet.  What I discovered through my experiment was that if I mind my thoughts and practice my affirmations and develop crystal clarity about what I want, I can tap into a flow of divine ideas which empowers ME to achieve my goals.  God isn’t in the business of giving me what I want.  God is in the business of BEING – of being love and oneness and creativity and beauty. . .  It is MY job to cultivate an awareness of my oneness with Spirit and to take action in the direction of my dreams.  On the one hand, I have been extremely disappointed to learn that God is not ever going to step in and take care of my affairs for me.  I guess I have been waiting for a white knight to rescue me.  On the other hand, it is tremendously empowering to know that I have everything I need inside me to accomplish whatever I set out to accomplish.  

I didn’t realize how deeply this experience was affecting me until I started reading about chemicalization.  I thought that my feelings of inner conflict and turmoil were an indication that there was something wrong with me or with my belief system.  I am thankful to have a word for what I am going through.  I’m also thankful to know that, at least for now, the Unity teachings are still a solid source of spiritual nourishment for me.   

~REBECCA