Routine

In the last few weeks, I’ve noticed a growing sense of uneasiness and anxiety rising up within me.  I’ve been having trouble sleeping, I’m feeling exhausted much of the time, and I’m finding it difficult to concentrate on my everyday activities.  This past weekend, I became convinced that my thyroid medication must be wrong and that this must be the cause of my feeling of un-wellness.  I vowed to call my family physician on Monday morning and ask her to adjust my dosage.

Interestingly, once I came to the conclusion that my problem was physical, I started to feel even worse – more tired, more anxious, more unsettled, and more eager to speak to my doctor.  And then yesterday - by the grace of God, I believe - I had a different thought.  In the space between my exhaustion and my anxiety, an inspired idea jumped into my head – “your stress does not have a physical cause, your stress is related to your change in routine.”

Every once in a while I am gifted by a thought that clearly comes from a higher place within myself.  Usually it comes when I am not expecting it.  Always it is crystal clear and brings with it an immediate sense of relief.  I am thankful for those moments when I am receptive enough to get Spirit’s message.  This was one of those times.

My children finished school on June 16^th.  As always, I had been looking toward the summer with an increasing feeling of dread.  Unlike many people, I hate the long, unstructured days of summer.  I’m the type of person who functions best when comfortably busy, who likes to work within a routine, and who re-energizes with times of quiet solitude.  Compared to the rest of the year, summer feels very chaotic and unpredictable and noisy to me.  I much prefer the other seasons.  I think this has to do with having three school-age children!   

Anyway, after I realized that the cause of my symptoms was rooted in my feelings about my circumstances, another inspired thought came to me.  I remembered an exercise we did at the Unity Eastern Region Conference last fall.  The keynote speaker was a life coach who offered many strategies for bringing my life into alignment with my personal values, vision, and mission.  One of the tips she shared was a simple weekly calendar grid which allows me to map out the hours and days of my week and to schedule time for the things that are most important to me.  The calendar I made for the school year was incredibly helpful and brought a new level of clarity to my everyday activities.  I decided to create a weekly grid for the summer.

Now that I’ve mapped out my weekly schedule and I can see how my days might look and how I might have time to do the things I value and still have time for family fun this season, my anxiety level has diminished substantially.   Thank you, God, for inspired ideas.  Thank you, Jackie Woodside, for practical organizational tools.  I’m actually kind of looking forward to the rest of the summer.  

Time to get a good night’s sleep for a change.  

~REBECCA

Summer

Summer – it brings up many thoughts for me. Unfortunately in the last few years many of my thoughts are negative ones. I've heard the saying that women don’t sweat, they glow. Well I glow uncomfortably for three months. Mosquitoes and other bugs seem to feast on me; their bites turn into welts. Ugh!

This is preface to the realization several years ago that I fight, even hate summer. It gives me an excuse for being in a bad mood too often. I sometimes even wish away time. What can I do to get through the next three months – go north? Hibernate in air conditioning – reading and watching tv and playing games?

I know people who thrive in summer. My husband loves summer (making my hibernation idea somewhat unworkable). A good friend and co-worker from Illinois lived for summer. She loved the feel of the sun on her skin. She reveled in playing volleyball on the beach. Why can’t I feel that way?

Well, of course I can feel that way. The third Unity principle pops into my mind. “We are co-creators with God, creating reality through thoughts held in mind.” I’m holding a thought in mind that does not serve me very well.

So on this first week of summer, I am willing to see this season in a different way. The beauty of the sun and heat are evident everywhere: in the roses, the honeysuckle that smells so sweet right now and my growing tomatoes. Driving around Hunterdon County, I pass fields of thigh high corn – corn on the cob and my tomatoes is one of my favorite summer meals. In the last few weeks, we’ve seen four baby raccoons and their mom and our Eastern bluebird nest box has lots of activity as the parents lay the nest and alternate bringing food to the nestlings.

Hot air balloons pass overhead during our dinners on the deck. In the dusk and evening, the fireflies truly do glow – sometimes in our cow pasture and in the woods after a hot day hundreds, or maybe even thousands, of firefly lights create a fairyland. Because the nights are cool, we can leave our windows open – great sleeping weather. (Oh, and no heavy winter coats for a few months.)

I am willing to count my blessings of living in this time and space with all of its beauty and conveniences (air conditioners and daily showers come to mind).

I affirm: “I celebrate the radiance of summer.” (from the Daily Word for the first day of Summer, June 21,2014) And from Ecclesiastes 8:15 So I commend enjoyment, for there is nothing better for people under the sun than to eat, and drink, and enjoy themselves, for this will go with them in their toil through the days of life. Amen

~ JEAN

Day 115

I’m doing an experiment. I made a decision at the end of February to devote one full year to practicing faithfully the Law of Mind Action, which says that I create my own reality through my thoughts and my feelings. For me, this practice means working with denials and affirmations every day, reading and listening to programs about prosperity, and diligently monitoring my thoughts to determine whether they are taking me toward or away from my dreams.  I started my experiment officially on March 1.  Today is Day 115.

Just before I decided to embark on this adventure, I had come to the realization that practicing this principle needed to be my full-time job; that my thoughts and feelings create my reality whether or not I’m paying attention to them; and that my regular habit of remembering and then forgetting what I know about prosperity would not ever bring me to the fulfillment of my personal vision and mission.

I started my practice with a commitment to studying a 10-week program called Prosperity Plus:  A New Way of Living, by Mary Manin Morrissey.  Each week, I listen to an audio CD, complete a series of workbook exercises, and take notes on what I’ve learned.  In the morning and in the evening, I review my notes and practice my affirmations. My homework is to celebrate my “wins” throughout the week and to continue my regular practice of tithing 10% of my income to the source of my spiritual food. The most powerful thing I’ve learned from Prosperity Plus so far is to make an authentic commitment to creating the life that I want, not just the life I think I can have.  Prosperity Plus has taught me to change my dream-tester question from “Can I?” to “Would I love it?” 

As an extension of what I’m learning in Prosperity Plus, I picked up the audiobook The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles.  Wattles was a student of New Thought in the late nineteenth century, and his book was the inspiration for the recent bestseller The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne.  One powerful thing I learned from The Science is that positive thinking is useless without action (Unity principle #5!) and that all action must be focused on the present moment.  Another teaching from that book states that in order to advance to a higher position (in career, relationships, etc), one must completely “fill” the position she currently occupies – only when the current position is filled with energy to spare is there room for advancement.  Whoa- this blew my mind.

A common theme among the books I’ve been reading and the programs I’ve been studying has to do with the idea of the will.  Most people interpret “will” to mean “willpower” and associate it with thoughts of denying oneself the pleasures of life.  The teachers I’m learning from offer a different definition of the will.  They describe it as the ability to stay focused on the truth despite outward appearances.  I bring this to mind every time I practice an affirmation that doesn’t seem true in the moment!

The importance of gratitude cannot be overemphasized in the practice of the Law of Mind Action.  The feeling tone of gratitude puts us in direct touch with the creative energy of Source.  I'm filled with gratitude these days.  I’m grateful for this experiment.  I am grateful that there are so many rich resources from which I can draw knowledge and inspiration.  I am grateful that I have more than a year to practice and for my current willingness (even excitement!) to practice this forever and ever.  I am especially grateful to belong to a community of like-minded individuals who are walking this spiritual path alongside me. 

~REBECCA

Entering Kid's World for a Day

Nervousness, anxiety and excitement – yep, I was feeling all of that last week. Why? Because Sunday (June 15) was my day to volunteer in Kid’s World; the first Sunday of our Summer Youth Program. I was prepared: I had my project picked out and my supplies in hand. I wrote a short “order of service” for the morning and then prayed “all is well and all will be well.”

On Sunday morning I arrived at Unity early to set up the room. Would anyone come? I’m happy to say that there were five children, all girls, ages 6, 9-1/2, 10 and two who are 13. The first two children to arrive knew exactly what to do. They pulled out the Sacred Opening Circle table into the middle of our small circle. I needn’t have worried about an order of service: Unity’s Youth and Family Ministry already had the opening of the day well planned. We began with check-in, followed by set-up. The bells are rung and the group gathered for our opening prayer: The Prayer of Faith, published in Wee Wisdom magazine by Myrtle Fillmore in August of 1898. The 6 year old led us in the prayer:

God is my help in every need;

God does my every hunger feed;

God walks beside me, guides my way

Through every moment of the day.

I now am wise, I now am true,

Patient, kind and loving too.

All things I am, can do and be,

Through Christ, the Truth that is in me.

God is my health, I can’t be sick;

God is my strength, unfailing, quick;

God is my all, I know no fear,

Since God and Love and Truth are here.

The 10-year-old read the Daily Word (Father's Blessing) and Affirmation. The love offering was taken and blessed by us all and the opening circle table was replaced so we could do our activity. The activity was to draw a calendar page for any of our special days – all of us made a birthday page and then a few other special date pages using markers, pens and stickers. During the activity we chatted about the end of school and what each of the girls was doing this summer. ome of their special interests: gymnastics, dance, martial arts and trombone. Then we cleaned up and rejoined the entire Unity family for the closing circle.

I felt a sense of relief. All had gone well – it wasn't too long and more importantly, not too short. I was glad to volunteer; especially when our Unikids teacher Janet Perini expressed her joy that she was able that day to stay in the entire service. I also have even more appreciation for our Youth and Family Ministry Teachers – our wonderful volunteer spiritual facilitators/sponsors who, week in and week out during the school year, accompany our children as they grow in the understanding and practice of our wonderful Unity principles.

~ JEAN

Car Trouble

Last Thursday when I left to go home from work, my car wouldn’t start.  I turned the key a few times, and there was no sound at all, except for the quick release of air or pressure or something I couldn’t put my finger on.  It was 3:00.

I instantly felt defeated.  I was looking forward to taking some time to get centered before my evening class.  Plus, I had to pick my daughter up from Girl Scouts at 4:00.  I didn’t feel like waiting around for a tow truck or talking with my mechanic.  It just wasn’t in my plans for the day.  Stupid car.

Every bone in my body wanted to just abandon the car in the parking lot and hitch a ride home, so as not to have to deal with this inconvenience in the moment.  Ultimately, though, I decided that the responsible thing to do was to call for a tow truck, call a nearby relative who might be able to drive me home, call the Girl Scout leader, call my mechanic, and call my husband to be sure I would have access to our second vehicle. I kept calm and, step-by-step, began making all of the appropriate contacts.  

Sometime in the midst of all my calling and text-messaging back in forth with relatives and service providers, a brief thought flashed through my mind.  “Is the car definitely in PARK mode?”   I raced outside and hopped into the driver’s seat.  Sure enough the gear shift was precariously positioned between PARK and REVERSE – not fully engaged!  I popped it into PARK, and the car started right up.  Hooray!   The day was saved! 

I called to cancel the tow truck and began calling and texting to let my cousin, my husband, my mechanic, the troop leader know that everything was fine – the car had started – life was back to normal.  As I was marveling at how smoothly this whole “issue” had been resolved, I noticed a single word punctuating each and every one of my positive thoughts.  

“Wow, I can’t believe how easy it was to cancel the tow truck” . . . IDIOT . . . “I’m glad to have had the chance to connect with my cousin” . . . IDIOT . . . “Now the rest of my day can go as planned” . . . IDIOT . . .

I decided to take a closer look.

I recognized that I was so embarrassed at having made the mistake of not checking to see that the gear shift was properly engaged that my Ego had unleashed a barrage of destructive self-talk.  Thankfully, I also recognized that this type of harsh judgment could only be coming from that small, fearful part of me that is my Ego.  I decided to try out some techniques I’ve learned over the years:

I started by playing the curious observer – “Hmmm, that’s interesting . . . I am repeatedly calling myself a terrible name . . . I wonder where that voice is coming from . . .”

Then I moved to righteous indignation – “Shut up, Ego - I don’t have to listen to you!”

Finally, I tried a more formal denial and affirmation – “Thank you for sharing, Ego, but that is not the truth of who I am.  I am a child of God, brilliant and whole.”   For me, this technique was the key to releasing my harsh judgment of myself.  

It’s amazing how observing and shifting our thoughts can create such a vast shift in our experience of reality and ourselves.  I’m getting better at paying attention to how my Ego shows up and attempts to derail me.  Denials and affirmations have become trusty tools in my spiritual toolbox.  If I can stay connected to the truth of who I am, I can more consistently meet life as my divine self.  And when I'm living and moving from that divine center, I can accomplish anything I set my mind to - even if I do occasionally forget to put the car in PARK.

~REBECCA

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Easier Said Than Done

I was feeling peaceful and full of love last Saturday  – in a good mood – when I read that day’s Daily Word entry. The word for June 7, 2014:

Restore

The affirmation:

Quiet moments of contemplation restore my soul.

An excerpt: “As I read Daily Word, I enter into a time of contemplation….This sacred time is like a peaceful valley nestled between rugged mountain peaks… For these few moments, I set aside the demands of the day.”

The Bible quote was from the 23^rd Psalm, verses 2-3: “He leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul.”

One of my friends is going through a difficult time right now. I took a picture of the page and emailed it to her – telling her I was thinking of her. The image of being in a peaceful valley between mountains of troubles seemed to fit.

That felt good - then later that same day I was the target of someone’s bad mood – a yelling, impatient bad mood. I listened and tried to remain calm. I tried to tell myself “this isn’t about me” (wonderful Unity teaching). I “got out of Dodge” so to speak. When a second episode occurred, once again I listened and tried to remain calm. But I was upset. My peaceful mood was gone.

I’m reading Pema Chodron’s book Taking the Leap. I just finished Chapter 6 which is about pausing, meditation and being with the feelings I experience. Lean into the feelings, acknowledge what I feel no matter how uncomfortable. If I learn to do that, more and more, the feelings will lose their power over me. Funny how many times I get to practice my spiritual principles.

On that Saturday I breathed deeply and started to ask myself some questions: Is this about me? Did I do something to invite this behavior? What in this must I pay attention to? Did I have to be yelled at to really hear? Why-ever would I put up with this from a friend or stranger? I felt hurt and resentment and separate and even helpless.

I wanted instant peace; that didn't happen. I did have a moment of clarity about bad moods. They happen to everyone - yep, even me. 

In retrospect, it seems like my soul was slow to restore. But no - I think I experienced exactly what was supposed to happen and it took exactly as long as necessary for me to feel peaceful again. Only while writing this did I realize I hadn't done the forgiveness work I needed to do - directed inward and outward. And I forgot totally to ask Holy Spirit for help.

Thinking back to the daily word, it’s easier said than done to restore peace after bad moods and during difficult times. I wonder what my friend thinks. We'll have a great conversation about this.

And maybe some of our Stepping Stones Journal readers have some thoughts on this too...

~ JEAN

George the Dog

 It’s one of those mornings.  I woke up late, so I’m already behind in getting ready for the day.  My teenage son has missed the bus, and so I need to drive him to school.  My middle child has a field trip today, and we need to make a last-minute trip to Subway to grab him a sandwich.  My 10-year-old is making potholders and watching television instead of getting ready for school.  Plus, there are morning chores to be done – laundry, dishes, feed the pets, etc.  I resign myself to the fact that I’m going to be late for work.  Oh, and did I mention that it’s raining cats and dogs?  

At last, I get all of the children out the door and off to school.  

 

Normally, at this point, I would be able to turn my attention entirely to getting myself ready for work.   But today we are pet-sitting for a friend of ours, and it occurs to me that George the dog still needs to be taken for his morning walk.  I am not looking forward to walking this dog in the rain, but I put on my sweatshirt, grab the leash, and out the door we go.  

George the dog is a slowpoke.  My mind is darting back and forth between the events of the morning and the tasks on my to-do list for the afternoon.  Each time George stops to sniff the wet grass or wiggle his way under a rain-covered bush, I find myself growing more and more impatient.  “Come on,” I say, and I tug on his leash.  There is nothing about this walk that is enjoyable to me.  All I can think about is the day’s agenda.  I just want to get home, take a shower, and get to work already.

And then something miraculous happens.   For a moment while George is engrossed in his sniffing, I turn my head toward the pond behind me.  I notice a little tree hanging over the water, creating a tiny alcove on the edge of the pond.  As raindrops fall on the leaves, they gather together and form larger drops which are falling to the water in a random, harmonious symphony.  Each drop creates a series of concentric ripples, and so the many falling droplets create a beautiful pattern of little circles moving toward each other on the surface of the water.  The morning light is hitting the edge of the pond just right, and everything is so very green.   

I lift my head and look around me.  Despite the rain, the moment is perfect.  The pond, the path, the grass, the trees.  The rain on my face.  And George the dog, still sniffing.  In this one moment, which feels like an eternity, the whole quality of my day shifts.  

Every once in a while, I am reminded of the tremendous gift that lies in my awareness of the present moment.  It’s so easy to get wrapped up in my thoughts of the past and my plans for the future.  To be truly present takes practice. Thanks to George the dog, I continue my day from this space of awareness, and I am filled with a deep and renewed sense of gratitude.

 

~REBECCA