Thursday, September 26, 2019

Compassionate Communication

What I learned last night about Non-Violent Communication (NVC):

1. I learned that everyone deserves NVC or compassionate communication - whether that person is someone I love best in the world or a total stranger. We have all heard of people who take their loved ones for granted and are especially kind to strangers. We have also all heard of people who are especially kind to their loved ones, family, friends and coworkers and who are completely indifferent about how they treat strangers both locally and globally. We talk cordially to friends on the phone and talk rudely and slam the phone down on telemarketers. So I repeat - for us all: EVERYONE deserves Compassionate Communication.

2. I also learned there are 1001 or more strategies for communicating compassionately. How I do it will most likely be totally different than you do. Neither of us is wrong. The key is to observe what's happening, acknowledge what I feel, recognize my needs as well as the other person's and make a request based on that. This is simplistic at this point but I'm still learning.

I highly recommend reading Marshall Rosenberg's book Non-Violent Communication. It's easy to read, though not necessarily easy to do and you will, as I have already (only half way through), learn a lot about communicating compassionately with the people in your world.

Thank you Laura Kinney for facilitating our group.

~ JEAN

Thursday, September 5, 2019

I am Comforted

Last Friday’s Daily Word was Comfort. This is part of the meditation:
I feel such deep loss when a loved one passes … I may struggle with deciding how to fill the empty void left behind. Healing takes time and love. I am fortified by my inner strength. I can begin a new journey in my life without letting go of sweet memories. I keep each blessing I have received tucked away in my heart and bring it out whenever my spirit needs a lift. I am comforted and at peace.
Two months ago we became home to a lost homing pigeon. We attempted unsuccessfully to find its original owner and in the meantime named him Homer – until, that is, she laid an egg – when we renamed her Pidge. We bought pigeon food, an outdoor house and began to get attached to her. She spent many nights on our roof. We would hear her fly down onto our porch and that was our signal to feed her. We worried about her safety and, it turns out, our worry was justified: on Wednesday (the 28th) a sharp-shinned hawk swooped in and caught her, killing her instantly. Nooooooooo! But it was so. We miss her but we are able to appreciate our two months with her and learned a lot about caring for homing pigeons in that time.

Three years and eight months ago we adopted a parakeet named Jojo whose family had been transferred back to their home in Germany. They couldn’t take him with them for various reasons. We kept him in our breakfast room and greeted him every morning when we fed our dog and him and Pidge too, while she was with us.

Jojo was sweet but did not tolerate a lot of handling. We did find out he loved Romaine lettuce, cashews, celery leaves, showers in our kitchen sink and to fly around the room a couple time. He also loved playing with the ping pong ball my husband hung in his cage, ringing the small bell hanging in his cage and talking to himself in his mirror.

Over the last week or so Jojo was acting sick. We tried to figure out what we could do to make him better, to no avail. On Friday morning (the 30th) I picked him up and was surprised how thin he was under his fluffed up feathers – he was breathing with difficulty and too weak to perch. I held him, stroking his head and back (something he wouldn’t have allowed if he was well) and kissing his head until he took his last breath.

We now have two "empty voids" now. But we also have great memories of both Jojo and Pidge.

There are no coincidences: that Daily Word on Friday was meant just for me. I am sad and I am grateful for the reminder of my inner strength, that these two sweet birds were blessings in my life and we will always have our memories (and pictures).

And so it is.

~ JEAN