Keeping House

In the spirit of spring-cleaning, both physical and mental/emotional, for Lent, I downloaded a book called “Simplifying the Soul: Lenten Practices to Renew Your Spirit” by Paula Huston.  This book recommends one small, measurable task to complete each day as a way of practicing the simplicity and humility that characterize the Lenten season.  Huston is an oblate, or lay associate of a monastic community, so the book is filled with references to Catholicism.  This doesn’t necessarily scare me away, but I do notice myself wanting to question the rationale behind the guidance being offered.   Plus, it’s only a few days into Lent and I’ve already encountered at least one task that has completely stopped me in my tracks. 

To give you an idea of the tasks being recommended in this book, on Day 1 the assignment is to clean out a junk drawer or closet.   The rationale behind this project has to do with breaking our strong emotional ties to material things, especially those things we that we are meant to leave behind, the things we have trouble letting go of – often things associated with our past.  

The task for Day 2 is the one that has me stymied.  It’s one of the tasks that I have found myself wanting to question, but also one that I find deeply moving and relevant for me personally.  Simply put, the instruction for Day 2 is to “scrub a dirty corner.”  On the surface, this seems straightforward enough.   The goal of my Lenten practice is a sort of spring-cleaning, after all, so scrubbing a dirty corner makes sense.  But the rationale offered for this task is much deeper than that.  According to the author, the purpose of scrubbing a dirty corner is to bring attention to those areas of our lives where we attempt to maintain an outward appearance of order while neglecting the hidden “grime” that lies underneath.  

  

Whoa.

“The act of physically scrubbing out a dirty corner,” says Huston, “especially one that is hidden, can be a reminder to us of our preference for life on the shining surface.  And the humility required to get down in the muck this way, taking on an onerous job the results of which few will ever notice, helps point us in a new direction, toward life in the light of Spirit.” 

  

I’m giving a lot of thought to this task.  On the one hand, I’m wondering if it’s really necessary to put energy into cleaning a surface that is hidden from view.  I think this might be a Catholic mind-trick of some sort.  On the other hand, I can think of a hundred little “dirty corners” in my home that I’ve been allowing to fester because, after all, nobody will ever see them – and, like the author, I’m wondering how this interest in keeping up appearances translates to other areas of my life. 

I hope, ultimately, that I can find the courage and the focus and the tenacity to face and tackle even the ugly chores of life.  And I hope that I can eventually move beyond my need to keep up appearances.  I’m not convinced that scrubbing the dirty corners of my physical home is necessary, but I do believe that this simple practice may help me to bring some awareness to the motivation behind my actions and  discover a new level of strength within myself.

~REBECCA

Lent

Today is the beginning of the 2015 Lenten season.  For the past five years, I have used Charles Fillmore’s “Keep a True Lent” as my guidebook for this sacred time of cleansing and renewal.  Fillmore’s book offers readings, Bible passages, and an affirmation for each of the 46 days of Lent.   As a supplement to “Keep a True Lent,” I also use the Lenten booklet published each year by Unity Worldwide Ministries.  In the days leading up to Ash Wednesday, I’m always looking forward eagerly to beginning my Lenten practice.  I’m excited to revisit the concepts in the Fillmore book, and I’m excited to see what new ideas are posed by the contributors of the Unity booklet.  Each year, I discover something new that I didn’t notice about the readings in the years before.  Each year, I discover something new about myself, as well.

Unity minister Rev. Ed Townley describes the Lenten season as a time for spiritual and emotional spring-cleaning.  This is the first time I’ve ever looked at Lent in this way.  As Rev. Townley says, just as we accumulate physical clutter in our homes over the course of the year, we also accumulate mental and emotional clutter in our minds.  And so just as we take the time to spring-clean our homes, we must also take the time to spring-clean our minds.  Lent is the perfect time to begin this cleansing process, as it opens us up to the power of Easter and the resurrection of the Spirit.

To go along with the theme of spring-cleaning, Kathie, one of our Unity members and the head of our Beautification Team, brought to us the idea of “de-decorating” our Unity sanctuary to symbolize a kind of simplifying, which is the basic theme of the Lenten season.  I love the idea of marrying a physical de-cluttering with a mental and emotional de-cluttering, as a way of preparing one’s mind and heart for the glorious Eastertide.

I have a lot of different ideas and goals running through my mind at this time of year. My 365-day experiment is coming to an end.  My study of the Twelve Powers is just beginning.   The part of me that is anxious for Spring feels obligated to be busy, busy, busy with creative activity.  But the cold, dark winter has me feeling so sluggish that I can hardly keep up with my regular daily obligations. Something tells me that this Lenten practice- a practice of simplifying and de-cluttering and becoming still - is exactly what I need right now.   I wonder if I can set aside all of my do-do-do-ing and just be-be-be for the next 46 days.   It's soooooo not my style, but I’m going to try - because I think there might be something for me to learn here.

~REBECCA

On Vacation

I'm taking a vacation. Yea!

My two sisters and I are meeting in Florida, near the Kennedy Space Center, renting a house with three bedrooms (one for each of us) and spending a week together.

Going away is such a great thing. To follow up on my previous post, I have to let go of everything here in New Jersey in order to be away.

While away I will continue to meditate on the Daily Word and to study February's power/ability of strength. And I trust that when I return I will have something to share here.

In the meantime, take good care.

~ JEAN

Letting Go ...

I get the feeling that my life is changing. I don't know how or what that change will look like but here's how I know: I'm feeling a strong urge to let go.

I let go of driving for Meals on Wheels - February 6 was my last day.  It feels right to let that go.

I am in the process of letting go of some of my responsibilities for the Friends of the Hunterdon County Library: I handed over the PR to a couple other people over the last few years. I have been creating the "Friend to Friend" newsletter (published 3 times per year) for over a decade. This Winter's Newsletter will be my final issue. In some cases I am finding people to take over for me and in other cases I am informing the officers and just letting go. Others will pick up some of the activities and the organization will let go of some of the activities. It feels right to let these go too.

Asked what my logic would say, I would have said that when I find something new, I will then give up some of my volunteer activities. But ... that's not what's happening. I'm clearly being led to let go now.

Coincidentally - and I know there are no coincidences - the theme of this Unity's Lenten Booklet for 2015 is "Learning to Let Go." It states: "Lent is a time for progressive unfoldment. As we heed the guidance of the still, small voice within us, the way is made clear. As we commit to following the steps we have outlined for ourselves, we are transformed. We are renewed, restored, rejuvenated - reborn!"

In one way I feel unsettled. My worry brain: I will have free time and nothing to fill it with. I'm taking things off my plate but I'm not adding anything. My right mind: This feels good and right. Making these changes is opening up space and time in my life to do whatever is next for me to do. And that is really exciting.

~ JEAN

The Magic of Theater

The past two weekends, I’ve had the privilege of working backstage at several performances of “Beauty and the Beast” by ShowKids Invitational Theater, a children’s community theater organization which my oldest son Avery has been involved in since he was in fourth grade.  S.K.I.T., as the organization is affectionately called, has been quite a blessing for my family, as it has been the perfect creative outlet for my all-over-the-place child, who seems like he was born to be on the stage.

Avery as Cogsworth the Clock.  Photo by Dave Dabour Photography.

People often refer to the “magic” of live theater – the ability of theater, through a combination of sets and stage, and actors and actresses, and a captivating story, to transport an audience through time and space and evoke their full range of emotions, all in a matter of hours.  Directors rely on a similar kind of “magic” to pull together the various component parts of the performance – the lights, the sounds, the sets, the scenery, the actors, the actresses, the script, etc. – into one coherent show.

For two years, I have worked as a backstage “runner” during performances.  My job is to follow the script and help gather the actors and actresses from the dressing rooms to the wings so that they are on stage before the curtain opens for each scene.  For the duration of the show, I mostly stand on the ramp that leads up to the right wing (ironically).  This job has given me a behind-the-scenes look at all of the hard work that goes into creating this “magical” experience for the audience.  

After several months of rehearsals on Friday evenings and Saturday and Sunday afternoons, actors and parent volunteers spend 20+ hours during the week before the show opens at “tech week” rehearsals, where the stage, sound, lighting, hair and makeup crews have their first opportunity to practice setting and striking the scenery, raising and lowering the backdrops, testing the microphones, planning the lighting, and transforming the actors and actresses into their respective characters.  On performance days, these same groups arrive two and a half hours before each show to get ready.  

During performances, there is a frenzy of activity happening backstage – costume changes, scene changes, hair fixes, last minute rehearsing – which the audience never sees.  The stage manager and stage and lighting crews are all connected backstage with little microphones that allow them to communicate moment-to-moment and resolve technical glitches in real time.  In the dressing rooms, TV monitors allow the actors and actresses and their volunteer assistants to see exactly what is happening on the stage at any given moment.  

This backstage experience reminds me a lot of what I’ve been learning this year in my experiment with the Law of Mind Action.  Although there is some level of “magic” that happens when we endeavor to create something beautiful in our lives, an essential key to success is action.  Without hard work, S.K.I.T. shows would not be as successful as they are, and this little community theater organization would not have the same capacity for transforming children’s lives.  For many years, I’ve used the notion of having faith and a prosperity consciousness to abdicate responsibility for taking action and putting in the time and effort required to achieve my goals.  I'm beginning to realize that I need to have faith in God AND also do my part.  Watching these children see all their hard work pay off has been quite an inspiration to me.  I'm looking forward to being a part of the "magic" at their spring show.

~REBECCA

Doing or Being Faith

Yesterday I realized that I had dropped the ball on a project for this year's Friends of the Hunterdon County Library Annual Book Sale coming up in May. Why? Because this year's sale has lots of challenges - in fact it won't be like any year before - no familiar routines, no models to fall back on, no blueprint to help guide the committee.

I started to worry and pace the floor of my bedroom. "This is going to be a disaster." "We won't get everything done in time for the sale." Panic - that was what I was feeling.

Then I stopped pacing. "Wait a minute!" I reminded myself: "This is so unproductive. I know that the book sale will go fine, one way or another. I know that all will be well."

One reason I was able to remind myself of these more affirming messages is because of  a statement by Sharon Salzberg in her book entitled Faith. (Rebecca, my 12 Powers study partner, found this book at the Hunterdon County Library.) Salzberg writes that faith is a verb. Faith is something we do, not something that we have. At first I didn't get the difference. If I have faith then all will go well at the book sale. Then I realized that as I was affirming that all would be well at the book sale, I was doing or being faith. And it felt great.

Two recent Daily Words also gave me good advice this week. The Daily Word for Tuesday was Comfort. The meditation begins: "In good times and difficult times, I open myself to the comforting love of Spirit. I relax into this Presence and let it soothe my emotions and bring peace to my mind."

When I was being faith I felt calm and was able to put aside my concerns, sit down in front of our wood-burning stove as the fire was blazing away and pick up a book to read. Again I don't know if I can convey to you just how GREAT that felt.

Wednesday's Daily Word - Present Moment - reinforced my feelings. The meditation begins: "I may catch myself regretting the past or worrying about the future. Yet I know such preoccupation is not helpful to me. In truth, the present moment is all there is, so I choose to live fully in the now."

Even though it's February now, I will finish the book on Faith, January's power (or ability) before I move on to February's power - Strength. Being a study partner with Rebecca is a pleasure.

~ JEAN

Twelve Powers - Faith

Today is day 339 of my 365-day experiment with practicing the Law of Mind Action, and I’ve begun a new study that intertwines nicely with my current “research.”  I am working with the Twelve Powers as described by Charles Fillmore in his book The Twelve Powers of Man.   Fillmore claimed that each individual possesses twelve spiritual abilities, in varying degrees of development, which Jesus expressed fully and which each of us can learn to express in our own daily lives.

I’m working with Fillmore’s book and with a second book which is required reading for Unity Institute’s S.E.E. (Spiritual Education and Enrichment) course on the Twelve Powers.  Power Up!  by Unity ministers Rev. Dr. Paul Hasselbeck and Rev. Dr. Cher Holton simplifies and modernizes the sometimes difficult-to-read Fillmore text.   The Unity Worldwide Ministries website also offers some material on the Twelve Powers at http://www.unity.org/resources/twelve-powers/twelve-powers. Plus, Jean has decided to join me in this study! So I’m feeling blessed with an abundance of materials and rich conversations from which to draw insights and knowledge.

The Twelve Powers correspond nicely with the months of the year - perfect for my Type-A brain, which prefers to study things in a logical, methodical, back-in-school kind of way.  The power for January was Faith, and I spent the month of January immersed in readings on this topic.  In addition to the Unity materials I mentioned above, I also checked the library for books on the subject of Faith, and I found one I loved called Faith: Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience by Sharon Salzberg, a Buddhist meditation teacher.

At the beginning of January, I had noticed I was feeling resistant to the idea of exploring the subject of Faith.  There was something about Faith that seemed too vague and fuzzy for me to get my perfectionist mind wrapped around.  Plus, some of the things I’ve discovered in my experiment with the Law of Mind Action seemed contradictory to the definition of Faith as I understood it at first.  So I wasn’t sure I had any Faith in the idea of studying Faith!  But over the course of the month, as I continued to work with the readings, I started to gain some clarity around Faith and to see how I can use my own spiritual ability of Faith to navigate the troubled waters I encounter on my path toward becoming fully who I am.

What I realized this past month is that, contrary to my previous definition, having Faith – to me - doesn’t mean believing that things will work out the way I want them to.  It doesn’t mean if I pray hard enough I’ll get the job I want.  It doesn’t mean I’ll get the diagnosis I want.  It doesn’t mean my children will follow the paths I want them to follow.  It doesn’t mean there will be a “happy ending” to my every story.  To me, having Faith means knowing that no matter what my outer circumstances may be, I am always connected to that wise, loving Center - it’s only a breath away.  And I can meet my circumstances, whatever they are, from my Center with courage and strength and grace and love.   This is a definition of Faith that fills my heart.  

The color for Faith is blue.  I’ve been wearing a bracelet with a blue teardrop charm as a reminder of my Faith throughout the day.  Now that we’re into February, it’s time to begin the study of Strength, but I plan to keep wearing my bracelet to help me stay connected to my Faith as I move through the rest of the Twelve Powers.

For more information about Unity Institute's S.E.E. program, visit http://www.unityinstitute.org/see. 

~REBECCA