Having Belleville was very good

Last September 15, our dog Belleville, a miniature Schnauzer, went to doggie heaven. The last couple of years of his life, he was being medicated for a heart murmur that got louder and louder. He underwent several ultrasounds. He was on medication for that and had begun to refuse his food or sometimes eat it and then throw it up. We tried adding warm water to make what we hoped would be gravy – that didn’t work. Then we tried adding broth. He liked that though sometimes he kept it down and sometimes not. He was losing weight – getting skinnier and skinnier.

He was still sleeping through the night most nights. Most days he could walk the full half mile morning and afternoon with our other younger dog Gus. He was sweet, affectionate and a joy to have around. He was my soulmate doggie.

I was leaving town the next week; my husband and I were both anxious whether he would still be with us when I returned. Neither of us wanted him to leave us when I was away. We decided on a Monday that we would take him to the vet on Saturday for the shot. Calling to make the appointment brought tears. Our vet is very considerate and schedules this kind of appointment for the last one of the day – in the case of Saturday – at noon.

I spent that entire week sitting with him every opportunity, petting him and loving him. I loved having that time with Belleville. It was important for me to be with him as much as possible. I also took that time to accept that this was the right thing to do and the right time to do it. On Friday night, my husband and I shared tears anticipating having this special dog gone.

When I married my husband in October 2002, I moved to NJ bringing my beloved old Schnauzer named Weaver with me. He died in July 2003. My husband surprised me with Belleville, a 4 month old puppy, for Christmas that year. Fifteen wonderful years later we both knew it was time to say goodbye.

On Saturday, we both had our together time with Belleville. He sat on my lap in the car on the way to the vet. I went in to pay and my husband had some time holding him on his lap. When the vet called us in to the treatment room, we both held Belleville. He lay calmly on his belly and we petted him and told him that we loved him. The vet gave him the shot and then monitored his heartbeat until there wasn’t a heartbeat any more. More tears and extreme sadness.

We wrapped Belleville in a towel from home and brought him back home to bury. I held him like a baby, which he wouldn’t have allowed if he’d been alive. I stroked his head and kissed him. He was warm and soft. It was very therapeutic. We put a square stone over Belleville’s grave. Then we went inside to take our other dog Gus for a walk. As we walked down the driveway, Gus stopped and looked back – we both instantly knew he was looking for Belleville.

In the days following the burial, I realized that I was feeling a great deal of peace around this experience. My anxiety about Belleville’s health lifted. I have only good memories. I also gave and am giving Gus a lot of attention and love because his buddy is missing.

When I saw the Daily Word for February 20: Pet Blessing I realized I would be able to write about our beloved Belleville and about Gus and about our experience.

The meditation reads in part:

“Pets are amazing companions. They are loyal friends and the embodiment of the spirit of love … Pets stand by their human companions – without judgment, filled with unconditional love. I take this moment now to acknowledge the pets in my life both present and past. With my thoughts I bestow a blessing on all pets.
So out of the ground the Lord God formed every animal of the field and every bird of the air. Genesis 2:19”

I add this verse: And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. Genesis 1:31

Having Belleville was very good and I am so grateful.

~ JEAN