My resulting list (remember I'm a list maker) included:
- Hot humid summer. Will it ever end? I have no get up and go. I'm always hot and sweaty. I'm miserable.
- Sore right foot. Will it ever get better? What can I do about it? Will I ever get to hike again? I'm in pain and I'm miserable.
- Going to physical therapy doesn't seem to be helping. But ... I have discovered I've lost flexibility in my joints. My ankle is weak. What should I do about that?
- I know I need aerobic activity for my fitness. (See my foot problem.)
- Is there enough money for my future? I'm afraid there isn't. I'm scared.
My list ended with: I'm paralyzed with fear. I need to Golden Key all of this!
I had lunch with a friend later in September, a couple weeks after writing this list. I was telling her a little bit about it and she said that it sounded to her like I was fearing the future and that I needed to find some way to stay in the present.
That was like a light bulb going on in my head.
And since the middle of September I have been thinking about the present and how I am going to meet each day. Then on October 15, I turned my daily calendar "Simplicity. Inspiration for a simple life." The picture was a placid river with tall golden grass in the background and two rowboats in the foreground. The message was a quote by Buddha:
Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.
I have a loner part of my personality. I love being alone and quiet. I like spending time in my sitting room at home writing, playing a game on my phone, reading or even just sitting quietly. When I get upset, the most important thing for me is regain my peace. I look around for it and then remember it's in me; it's been in me all along.
I've been asking friends about good books to read about staying present. If you have any ideas, let me know.
In the meantime, I know that my peace comes from within me. And all is well.
~ JEAN
No comments:
Post a Comment