When Nothing is Making Sense

I can't remember exactly what day last week I finally hit bottom - by that I mean when I finally accepted that nothing was making sense in my life and if nothing makes sense, then that was my signal to stop judging.

My most loved ones didn't make sense. I know that each individual has his or her own "agenda" or perspective (as do I) and, at least in my case, the choices made by people I love don't make sense to me. That's when the judge in me rears its ugly head and peace is gone.

I volunteer for several different nonprofit organizations. I watch individuals and boards make decisions that don't make sense to me. I argue in my head "Why'd they do this or that?" My judge kicks in and peace is gone.

Our world doesn't make sense to me - whether it's guns, politics, climate, wealth and no wealth, honesty or dishonesty. Why is this world like that? My judge kicks in and peace is gone.

Hitting bottom at first was tear inducing. I'm totally out of control. I'm helpless. Nothing makes sense. What am I going to do? I thank God that I finally got to that question: What am I going to do? Turning within, I asked "What am I going to do?" My answer is that I can't control anything. If something doesn't make sense then I obviously don't have enough information and I can't judge it, can I? And so I let go. I now tell myself multiple times a day: "Don't judge!"

Here are my Daily Word take aways from the last few weeks:

• God is not separate from me but closer than breathing... (Comfort)
• Wholeness is my true nature.
• I do not judge past behaviors or future outcomes. (Pray for Others)
• Strength is part of my divine makeup.

Yesterday's and today's Daily Words are Fearless:

When I face difficulties, I draw upon inner faith and courage.

and Faith:

I have faith that the very best is unfolding in my life. The truth is that I am within God, and God is within me every step of the way.

Last Friday's Daily Word was Inner Peace:

I experience life from a place of peace.

That is my goal and intention. Stop judging as soon as I notice I'm doing it - talking out loud to myself if necessary. "Don't judge!" That frees me to turn my thoughts toward peace, toward doing what I can do with love. Let it be so.
~ JEAN