Staying in my own Business

Do you ever find yourself having long conversations in your head with another person? Maybe it's to replay a previous conversation. In your head, you know exactly the right response to a slight, an insult or a comment that will SHUT THEM UP FOREVER. Or maybe it's a rehearsal for a future conversation that you know will probably never happen ... but it is so satisfying to figure out ways to say everything exactly right.

I have been having internal conversations with one particular person lately. I'm practicing what I could say to them that is brilliant, clear and will change them into the person I think they should be. I want to set this person straight. I practice what I could say to stop them from getting in my face ever again.

Then I was journaling about the Daily Word meditation on Curiosity in July. The sentence in the meditation that caught my attention was:

"I tap into my curiosity with the intention to explore new perspectives."

Aha, a new perspective. Why does this person behave the way she/he does? I thought: I need help on this. I sat quietly in my chair knowing I didn't have a clue what to do about this.

The message I received was ... Why am I wondering why? I will never know this person's why. In fact it's not important for me to know why. They are just being who they are.

I've been lucky to study Byron Katy's book Loving What Is. In that book she writes: "I can find only three kinds of business in the universe, mine, yours and God's. Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business. Being mentally in your business keeps me from being present in my own... Do I know what's right for me? That is my only business."

Wow, is that freeing! And like the balloons picture, I choose to let all those conversations go.

~ JEAN