Dad's Letters - My Vision

About three years ago my mom and I were straightening out various places in my parent’s basement in Illinois during one of my regular visits home. We opened a large cardboard box that was beginning to smell pretty musty. We pulled out a bunch of family treasures: grandparents’ graduation diplomas, wedding certificates, scrapbooks and, at the bottom, a stack of letters – I guessed 70 to 80 of them. They turned out to be letters my dad wrote home to his mom while he was in the service during World War II.

That was a “wow” moment for me - that my grandmother had kept them, that I’d love to read them and that I’d love to publish them. 

First my dad needed to see them and give his permission.My dad was intrigued by the idea of publishing them – after all, we are a publishing family – four generations: His father and mother, he and one of his brothers, me and my two sisters and now one of my nephews and one of my nieces. He read every single one of those letters and we had really sweet and touching conversations about some of his memories. I took notes.

My heart stopped as they packed the letters into a box to ship to my other home in New Jersey. What if they got lost? They didn’t - they arrived safely and I typed them – putting them in postdate order. Reading them as I typed, I realized that in his simple, 6-7 sentence letters, he had all kinds of experiences that I felt could be explored more deeply. I began to envision what the book would look like. I brainstormed (by myself) what the title might be. I had a document … and then I stopped.

I was conflicted about working with my dad on this project. He and I did not always have an easy time working together at our publishing company – he, from my point of view, liked to work alone. The issues I saw - he might not agree with. Other aspects of my life were going along as usual and I thought off and on about the letters but didn't do anything with them. My dad thought he’d like to comment about some of them so I sent the document to him. Other aspects of his life were going along; I don’t know if he thought about the letters but he didn't do anything with them either. So the project stayed on hold.

Only now do I understand that I had a vision (the publishing part) that I have put on hold for years.

My dad died last December 15^th. Working with him on this project is no longer a possibility. Today, almost six month later, I have finally had enough wake-up calls from several Sunday messages and various other sources in the last few months that I needed to take those letters and my vision off hold.

I just re-read all the letters and took notes on what I’d like to research. I have several ideas of how to proceed. And then I stopped again because I can't do it - I don't have time.

Rev. T’s message last Sunday “The Art of Receiving” woke me up again and gave me a practical look at my vision. I can’t get to my vision I must come from my vision. I must act as if I already have it – I am a publisher, capable of producing a book of my dad’s letters. I must talk about it, feel it, be it. When my fear and doubts arise, as they do and will, I must say, as Jesus did: “Get thee behind me.” With God's help I must keep on being my vision. P.S. I'll accept all the gentle support I can get.

~ JEAN