Little Red Car

Today, as I was driving home with my oldest son after one of his many activities, I got stuck behind a little red car that was moving incredibly slowly.  The moment I made the decision to follow this car around the jug handle, I was sure I had make a terrible mistake.  As we rounded the turn toward the traffic light going 10 miles per hour, the driver pumped his brakes to warn me to slow down, as if I could possibly go any more slowly.  Then, as the car moved through the intersection at 15 miles per hour, the driver beeped the horn repeatedly to let people approaching the intersection know that he was coming through.  

At first, my son and I were frustrated.  Each of us had had a long day, and we were worn out and hungry and ready to get home and relax.  As we crept along behind this little red car, we made a thousand guesses as to why this individual would possibly be going so very slowly – elderly? concerned about ice? or perhaps a child was driving the car?  After all, we could barely see the driver’s head above the steering wheel.  We shouted, “Oh please, I’m begging you, pick up the pace!” and joked to ease the tension.  

On the long, winding road between the highway and the center of our little town, we had no choice but to go the same maddeningly slow speed as this little red car.  The double yellow line stretches all the way from end to end on this particular road – too hill-y and turn-y to allow for safe passing.  Somewhere along the line, as we crept toward our destination, and as my son continued his impatient rant, I decided to shift from frustration to acceptance and started to practice being in the moment.

Once I accepted that I wouldn’t be moving any more quickly, not surprisingly, my whole experience changed.  The movement of the cars, both mine and my leader’s, became rhythmical and soothing.  The ups and downs and lefts and rights along the road began to feel like a sort of Tai Chi for the harried driver.  I tried to calm my anxious passenger.  “Wow, this is actually kind of relaxing, isn’t it?” I said to my son.  He wasn’t quite ready to shift to that Zen place, but I consciously slowed my breathing and began to look at the rest of our trip home as a gift – a few peaceful moments before the rush of dinner and homework and chores and all of the other endless distractions that pull me away from myself on a regular basis.

This was another one of those times when a seemingly unfavorable situation forced me to slow down and allowed me an opportunity to re-connect to my center.  I’m not sure I believe God is responsible for my getting stuck behind that little red car today - I think maybe I just have life to thank for that.  But I am sure that God was there once I decided to shift my attention.  And it's comforting to know that all it takes is that little shift to put me back in touch with that constant, loving presence.

~REBECCA

Happy New Year!

The beginning of a new year is one of my most favorite times.  Each year, as the craziness of the Christmas season winds down, I find myself craving solitude and instinctively wanting to enter into a quiet, introspective mode, which allows me to reflect on all that I wish to let go and all that I wish to usher in for the New Year.   

Long ago, I left behind the practice of setting New Year’s resolutions in the traditional sense.  No more giving up sugar or vowing to exercise more in hopes of attaining the perfect body or the perfect whatever.   Now as the end of the year draws near, I find myself thinking in broader terms.  What do I want my life to look and feel like?  What do I value most, and how can I craft a life that honors those values?

Recently I found a New Year’s meditation online.  In it, the meditation guide focused on three areas of the body – the abdomen, the head, and the heart – and encouraged listeners to reflect on what kinds of  habits he or she could adopt to foster health in each of these areas.  Until I listened to this meditation, I was having trouble formulating any concrete thoughts around my vision for the upcoming year.  But as I went through the meditation process, I noticed some very clear intentions coming in to my mind.

For me, the abdomen represents my physical health and digestion.  Having just started a new job and being catapulted into a busier, more chaotic schedule, the New Year gives me a chance to renew my commitment to my physical health – to choose nutritious foods, to be sure to get plenty of sleep, to stay hydrated, etc.   As I take a look at my new schedule, it will be important for me to build in ways to take care of myself.  After all, without my physical health, all of my other intentions are moot points.

The head, to me represents my mental health and my thoughts.  This past year has brought sooooo many changes in my understanding of how my thoughts impact my reality and how I contribute to my own experience of success.  As I have worked to  incorporate  these new ideas into my daily way of being, I have noticed that I have gotten away from my meditation practice.  No matter what new routines and habits I adopt, the importance of daily meditation and silence, for me, remains a constant.  2015 offers a chance to re-commit to the daily practice of silence as a means of staying clear and cultivating an awareness of God in my life. 

The heart is a symbol of my emotional health.  As much as I don’t look forward to it, I see 2015 as an opportunity to gradually drop my defenses and allow myself to be vulnerable.   In a previous post, I shared about the impact that a TED talk by Dr. Brene Brown on vulnerability had on me.  It’s crystal clear to me that vulnerability is the key to my experience of connection, and since a sense of connection is something I value highly – and something that has eluded me for most of my life – I’m aware that the time has come to put what I know into practice in this area.

As usual, the beginning of the New Year has me filled with a renewed sense of hope and possibility.   I hope that you, too, will have a chance to reflect on the deepest desires of your heart and begin to establish intentions that will bring you closer to an experience of your divine, authentic self. 

Best wishes for a blessed 2015.

~REBECCA

An Anything-But-Routine 2015

A bright red poinsettia sits on my desk here at Unity. There is a penguin snow globe and an angel ornament there too. I have been entering things "to do" on my 2015 calendar for a few weeks now.

Rebecca and I came in to work today to prepare the Burning Bowl bulletin and supplies. I look forward to having Rev. Rachel Sue Ritz here to facilitate that service on January 4th. I only learned today that the dragonfly on the cover of that bulletin is a symbol for change - we can count on that, can't we?

It's getting cold again now - after we've been lucky to have a few days of 40s and even 50s for high temperatures. It's time for me to turn off the computer and get home. I've already mentioned that the next week will be my time of reflecting back over 2014 and setting some intentions for 2015 - one of my favorite things to do at this time of the year.

I didn't want to leave the office, though, before sending you all my best wishes for an anything-but-routine 2015!

~ JEAN

The Log in my Eye

My husband told me he was working on clutter in our kitchen while I was in Illinois a couple weeks ago. I was highly enthusiastic and supportive when he told me that. Unspoken to him, I hoped that meant he would get rid of stuff we don't use any more.

When I returned he had, in fact, purchased a large table with shelving to store all the things he termed clutter. Nothing was gotten rid of, it was just rearranged to look better.

I groused to myself  ... and then had a big realization.

Do you know this Bible verse? Why do you see the splinter that's in your brother or sister's eye, but don't notice the log in your own eye? Matthew 7:3

I realized that I have a lot of clutter in several of "my" spaces in our house and I had best get working on the log in my own eye.

~ JEAN

Manna from Heaven

Give us this day our Daily Bread
From the Lord's Prayer

Manna is defined as miraculous food, a sudden happening that brings good fortune, a Godsend, a bonanza, a windfall.

Last Sunday Dr. Bob Rosenthal talked about manna during his workshop called "The Exodus Path of Miracles." The workshop was based on his book From Plagues to Miracles, The Transformational Journey of Exodus, From the Slavery of Ego to the Promised Land of Spirit.

What I heard is that the manna that appeared every morning for the Hebrew people wandering in the wilderness was exactly as much food as they needed for the day - their Daily Bread. I internalized that as a metaphor telling me that when I wake up every morning I will have whatever I need for that day. That feels pretty darn good.

I took some other notes during the workshop: Wherever we go, God is with us; We get what we need for our journey; And more on the daily manna story: stay present, don't look too far ahead and leap to conclusions about how things should go - these conclusions are probably ego-driven. Just ask for peace today. Intentions precede miracles and miracles are short cuts on our spiritual path.

I had a powerful insight the next day: I remembered a statement I made at a previous workshop: I wanted to publish a book that received a positive review in the New York Times and was an Oprah Book Club selection. My insight was that my true vision is to honor my father by publishing his letters home while he was serving in World War II. All the rest is ego.

I accept the manna each day that helps me to accomplish my purpose. The rest I leave to Spirit.

~ JEAN

Vulnerability

I’ve been thinking a lot about vulnerability lately.  Recently, in a job training I attended, we watched a TED Talk by Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, on the subject of vulnerability.  At the time, this subject was nowhere near the forefront of my mind, so I found myself caught off-guard by the impact that the content of Dr. Brown’s message was having on me as I watched the video.

Vulnerability is possibly the very LAST thing I am interested in exploring.   There is not a bone in my body that wakes up in the morning and says, “Oh, what a great day to be vulnerable!”  On the contrary, I’m sure I expend inordinate amounts of time and energy, both consciously and unconsciously, on a daily basis finding ways NOT to be vulnerable in my interactions with others and with the world as a whole.  I’m very good at putting up walls to protect myself, and  until now, I’ve never really been interested in laying aside my armor.

The thing about Dr. Brown’s talk that struck the deepest chord with me was her assertion that vulnerability is essential to connection, which, of course, is why we’re here.  Connection is what gives purpose to our lives.  Without connection, life has no meaning.  And in order to truly connect with one another, we have to be willing to be vulnerable.

Great.

Dr. Brown has done some studies on the subject of vulnerability and finds that she can easily divide human beings into two groups – those who have a strong sense of love and belonging, and those who struggle for a sense of love and belonging.   And she believes that the difference between these two groups boils down to their sense of worthiness.   People in the struggling group tend to fear that they are not worthy of connection.  People in the group with a strong sense of love and belonging – she calls them the “whole-hearted” – embody the following traits:

• Courage to be imperfect
• Compassion to be kind to themselves and others
• Connection as a result of authenticity
• Willingness to let go of who they think they should be to be who they are
• Willingness to embrace vulnerability
• A belief that what makes me vulnerable makes me beautiful
• An understanding that vulnerability is essential to connection

Dr. Brown asserts that vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, and of love.

Great.

I recognize, now that I’ve listened to this talk, that in my efforts to numb my sense of vulnerability, I also effectively numb my experience of joy, of gratitude, and of happiness because, as Dr. Brown says, we can’t selectively numb emotion.  If we numb the bad, we also numb the good. 

I’m not entirely sure what I plan to do with this new information.  For now, I’m just sitting with it and allowing myself to become aware of my sense of vulnerability and my normal patterns of behavior to avoid feeling vulnerable.   If you’re interested in listening to Dr. Brown’s TED Talk and diving in to the subject of vulnerability yourself, you can find the talk on her website: http://brenebrown.com. 

~REBECCA

Endings and Beginnings

"When we stand at the end of one life experience ... we remember that every ending also has a beginning. We may be tempted to keep looking back, but once we turn our eyes to the path ahead, we find new opportunities awaiting us." From "Endings," the Daily Word for October 31st.

My 12th year of marriage ended and my 13th year of marriage began on October 12. I drew an "angel card" for the year ahead and received: Beauty.

My 63rd year on earth ended and my 64th year began on earth began on November 6. I drew an "angel card" for the year ahead and received: Birth.

Every year in late December and early January I spend time journaling about the year that is ending and set some resolutions and intentions for the year that is beginning. I love spending that time reflecting and visioning. Often I'm sitting in my big overstuffed easy chair with a fire burning brightly in our wood-burning stove. That's when I will draw an angel card for the year 2015 and I hope to participate in the 2015 White Stone meditation on Sunday, January 11, introduced to us (well, me at least) by Rev T.

I'm so grateful for all the ways I receive guidance - I have faith that they are all the voice of God coming to me in various forms.

* * * * * * * * *

This Daily Word speaks to me so positively because it doesn't just focus on the past, the endings of my life, it points me ahead to the beginnings, to the anticipation of my "unfolding journey." I look forward to the promise of how Beauty and Birth play out in the months ahead. I am interested to find out what my third angel card and the White Stone meditation message will be.

* * * * * * * * *

Along with our sunflowers, I planted a bunch of nasturtium seeds last spring. The flowers were so beautiful and full for several months in the summer and fall (above left); then, after a couple of below freezing nights, their run ended (right). Just like the 187 bulbs my husband and I planted this fall that promise daffodils in the spring, we can look forward to planting new flowers at the beginning of next summer.

Wishing you interesting endings and promising beginnings.

~ JEAN