Impermanence

One idea that is becoming clearer in my mind as I get older is the idea of impermanence.  The nature of life is that things are always changing.  It was the Greek philosopher Heraclitus who said, “We step and do not step in the same river twice.”  I remember reading this quote in high school and being in awe of its cleverness.  “Of course,” I thought - because the water in a river is always moving, when you step into a river the second time it is not the same water that you touched when you stepped in the first time.  So true.  Like the water in a river, life is always moving and changing. 

 

It wasn’t until recently, though, that my understanding of the idea of impermanence began to have a positive impact on my experience.  Eric Butterworth in his book In the Flow of Life says, “life comes to pass.”  At first glance, one might interpret that to mean that life happens or life transpires.  But upon closer inspection, it becomes clear that what Butterworth is driving at is that life comes for the purpose of passing.  In other words, in life, situations and circumstances come and go, and things don’t stay the same, and this is exactly how life is meant to be.   The sooner we get on board with this idea, the easier it becomes to get into the flow of life.

In her book When Things Fall Apart author Pema Chodron makes the case that the majority of suffering for human beings is caused by their tendency to be constantly striving to get “solid ground” under their feet, when in truth in life there is no such thing.  The ground is always shifting and changing.  In Buddhism, impermanence (or anicca) is recognized as one of the three characteristics of existence. The Buddha taught that because no physical or mental object is permanent, desires for or attachments to either causes suffering

I find lately that as I go through my days, this idea of impermanence is really beginning to sink in.  While I don’t enjoy the idea that my loved ones will not always be with me or that the happy circumstances of my life are only temporary, I do notice that accepting this truth brings a suprising sense of peace and calm.  I also notice that I get lots of comfort from understanding that many of the negative circumstances of my life will eventually pass and that I don’t have to get too wrapped up in them or give them too much attention.

When I look around my house and I see shoes and clothes and books and my children’s other belongings strewn from one end of my living space to the other, it’s easier for me to relax in the face of the mess and remember that there will soon come a day when my children are no longer living in my house and that this particular mess is only temporary and I can focus more of my attention of enjoying my children while they are still living in my home.  

When I am feeling stressed about finances and I find myself wanting to focus too heavily on the struggle to make ends meet, I can remind myself that this too shall pass and then it becomes easier to relax and enjoy the things that I have rather than agonize over the things that I don’t.

As a person who craves routine and has always tried desperately to bring order and regimen to her life, I would think that this idea of impermanence would bring tremendous discomfort, but instead I am finding as I get older that embracing the idea of impermanence brings joy and a sense of freedom that I have never known in all of my years of trying to keep things under my control.

~REBECCA

Belly Breathing

I just completed a five week study which Rebecca facilitated of Thich Nhat Hanh's book Fear. Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm. It was terrific and I recommend reading the book.

Here are two "practices" that have

been very helpful for me. You all may already know about deep breathing to calm yourself. I did too. TNH has a section on what he calls Belly Breathing. As you know, I've been dealing with fear lately. I've found belly breathing more successful than I ever expected at calming my fears - whether I'm in traffic, waiting in line or at odds with a dear friend.

The other internal message I have found extremely helpful from the book is this acknowledgement: I am fine right now. No matter what's happened in the past or what might happen in the future, I'm fine right now. And I also know that I will be fine no matter what.

As you probably can guess, there are quite a few more practices in this wonderful little book on Fear. But I wanted to share these two because they worked immediately for me.

So the next time you're stressed, give yourself 10-20 minutes, belly breathe and know "you are fine right now."

~ JEAN

Power of the Year

On a recent Sunday we showed the movie: The Sound of Unity: The Twelve Powers. Each of us was encouraged to wear the color of our chosen power. Ever since I read the meditation on Imagination in the Advent booklet, Imagination has been the power I intend to concentrate on in 2017. So on that Sunday I wore the sweater pictured here. Only after I put it on did I realize that the sleeves deepened the meaning of the 12 powers in my life for 2017.

The blue in the sweater could be Imagination and Faith - I'm open to that. The light green in the sleeves is Strength; the gray (silver) is Will; the purple is Power; and the brown is Release. I'm open to all of those too.

From the Advent booklet:

"Imagination: Today I pause to imagine the life I AM led to live for myself, and for the world. I know this vision is mine to achieve. I blend my Imagination with Faith and Love, and I express the Power to create new possibilities."

"Strength: I AM One with infinite Strength. I express that strength with love and compassion as I move through a day of creative opportunities."

"Will: I AM One with the Will that achieves its purpose through me. Free of all reluctance and resistance, I joyfully undertake the work that is mine to do."

"Release: I AM always in the flow of infinite spiritual energy. All that I need today flows to me now. All that no longer serves my spiritual purpose flows easily away."

All of these meditations guide me and encourage me to do what is mine to day each day - to make each day count and, ultimately, to make this year an amazing, growing experience.

Coincidentally - whoops, there are no coincidences - Unity's 2017 Theme is "Unleash Your Divine Potential."

I hope the same for all of us.

~ JEAN

Christmas Morning Imagined

Christmas morning a 13-year-old girl somewhere in Hunterdon County opened her Christmas gifts. Her eyes widened with pleasure when she saw a collection of makeup and a glittery outfit of tights and a top – two items on her wish list. Her younger brother, a 3-year-old boy, opened a Monster Machine truck. I imagine them saying “Just what I wanted!” with huge smiles on their faces. At the same time, in another household, a 6-year-old girl unwrapped a beautiful doll who looked a lot like her. And in yet another household, a young mother watched with delight as her one-year-old son opened a Mickey Mouse (who he loves) toy and her 2-year-old daughter opened a Dory fleece blanket.

I imagine all the parents of all the children in the three families we at Unity Spiritual Center adopted wrapping these items at night after the kids were asleep. (That’s why we donate unwrapped gifts and wrapping paper.) The next morning colorful wrapped presents appeared under their family Christmas trees.

I wasn’t there to actually see these sights, yet I believe that’s what happened this Christmas.

 * * * * * * * * * * *

A recent Daily Word was “Giving.” The affirmation was:

Through giving, I receive.

One of the favorite parts of my job at Unity is to contribute to our quarterly service projects. This year’s Giving Tree fell at a time when I was going to be out of town visiting my mom in Illinois. We only had one week to make this project happen this year.

I’ve always known that I don’t do the Giving Tree by myself. This year is living proof of that. I was able to type up the gift requests before I left. Rebecca, my dear co-worker, then stepped in. She and her daughter Ryli made the gift tags; Rebecca created the display just outside of our Fellowship kitchen on Sunday, December 4.

The gifts for “our” three families were due back on the following Sunday, December 11, so we could comply with  the United Way of Hunterdon County Helping Hands program’s request that all gifts be delivered to them in Flemington on Monday, December 12.

Then our wonderful, generous Unity family made it work. I returned from a great week with my mom to learn that all 29 tags had been taken, except one - for me. Gailann Bruen and I organized all the donated gifts into three family bags after the December 11 Sunday service. Driving those bags to Flemington to the United Way office gave me great pleasure.

I don’t know the names of everyone who gave gifts. It’s not important that I do. What is important for me, and for all of us, is to believe in those Christmas scenes above – we helped make them happen - and to believe that when we all pitch in, when we all give, a wonderful thing happens: we receive far more than we give.

Through giving, I receive.

And I am grateful.

~ JEAN

Chalkboard Wall

Recently, my daughter Ryli and I painted a 4-foot X 6-foot chalkboard square on one of the walls in our dining room.  We were getting tired of staring at the big, blank expanse of green nothingness and so, on a shoestring budget, decided to make do with the chalkboard paint we had purchased several months earlier to fill the space. 

This chalkboard wall has turned into quite the creative palette for our family.  Ryli – being the most

arts-and-craftsy of the group - designed the first couple of boards, and at Christmas time we turned the space into a giant Advent calendar.  My favorite board so far, though, is the 2017 goals and intentions board we created for the New Year.  Each family member took the time to think of several intentions that he or she has for 2017, and in no time we had filled the board with a beautiful, colorful collage of words and phrases that best represent what is most important to our family.

Looking at the board, I can see each family member’s personality coming through in the lines of chalk on the black.  Ryli’s intentions revolve around her physical space and a sense of connection: stay organized, host more events, read, take up a new hobby, host our second annual backyard concert.  Evan’s intentions revolve around his physical health and academic achievement: gain 15 pounds, eat healthier, start yoga, get all A’s and B’s in Physics.  He also contributed a couple of new family adventures to the list: go to Knoebel's, tube down the Delaware.  The one intention Avery wrote down reflects his passion for the arts combined with his current feeling of overwhelm at the prospect of graduating high school and contemplating what’s next: go to college or start performing – it almost feels as if it should be read as a question. Dave’s intentions reflect his love of nature and music: gig more, go on seven backpacking trips.  And my intentions reflect my ongoing aim to slow down and be more mindful:  hydrate, be present, play more, less screen time.

Seeing the desires of my loved ones so clearly expressed all in one place fills my heart and makes me wish that I could hold on to this moment in time when we are still all together under one roof.  When it's time to change the board, we will capture all of our goals on a piece of paper to be posted on the refrigerator where we will see them each day and can keep them in mind as the year unfolds.  
~Rebecca 

Love Trumps Fear

Well, it’s official.  Donald Trump will be sworn in as President of the United States of America on Friday, January 20^th.  The Electoral College cast their ballots yesterday, and it comes as no surprise that they upheld the decision that they made on November 8^th to elect Mr. Trump to the highest leadership post in the nation.

As I look back to that fateful Tuesday in November, I can vividly recall the sinking feeling I experienced as the numbers began rolling in.  My uneasiness gave way to a wave of intense panic when it became clear to me that my least favorite candidate in the history of candidates actually had a chance of taking the White House from my favorite President in my lifetime of Presidents. And finally a feeling of deep sadness washed over me as the inevitability of Mr. Trump’s win began to sink in and thoughts of the hatred and bigotry that have been stirred up by this contentious election rattled around in my brain.  

When I woke up on November 9^th, I was confused and afraid.  Despite my best efforts to see a silver lining, I still went through a period of heightened fear and anxiety, compounded by a sense of profound grief.  I thank my lucky stars for the foundation of spiritual teachings I have gradually absorbed over the course of this lifetime because with the help of those spiritual principles it didn't taken me too long to come back (mostly) to my Center.

Let’s face it – I can’t believe that God is everywhere present and all-knowing and all-loving and still be terrified of the results of this election.  I can’t believe that all is in Divine Order while maintaining that Donald Trump’s presidency is a mistake. I can’t believe that we are all growing constantly and endlessly toward the Light and at the same time believe that any President somehow has the power to cast us all into darkness.  I can’t believe that the Christ is present and active everywhere and in everything and look at Donald Trump as anything less than a child of God.  It isn’t possible for me to truly live the spiritual principles I have been learning and at the same time be completely undone by the results of this election.

On January 20^th, Donald Trump is going to be President of the United States of America.  That is a fact.  And on January 20^th, I will continue to practice the spiritual principles that I believe make the world a better place.  I will continue to practice being loving and kind and present.  I will continue to focus on the good – in my family, in my community, in the world.  I will continue to find ways to be of service to others.  I will continue to cultivate an awareness of God’s presence in my life.  I will continue to hold a vision for a world where everybody has the same opportunity to reach his/her divine potential.  I will continue to use my voice to speak out for what I believe is true and just.  

No matter who is in the Oval Office, no matter who is in the House or the Senate or in the Executive Cabinet, Love is at the helm.  Love is the highest law.  And we are Love’s hands and feet.  We make the difference – in the way we carry ourselves, in the way we speak and act toward one another, in the way we live our divine purpose in the world. And as we continue to be the Love we wish to see expressed in the world, we will continue to experience Love abundantly in our lives. 

God bless America.  

~REBECCA

A Light Bulb Moment

I've been picking my nails lately. This is a signal to me that I'm anxious about something. When I finally paid attention in early September, I set aside some time to just sit and think and write.

My resulting list (remember I'm a list maker) included:

• Hot humid summer. Will it ever end? I have no get up and go. I'm always hot and sweaty. I'm miserable.
• Sore right foot. Will it ever get better? What can I do about it? Will I ever get to hike again? I'm in pain and I'm miserable.
• Going to physical therapy doesn't seem to be helping. But ... I have discovered I've lost flexibility in my joints. My ankle is weak. What should I do about that? 
• I know I need aerobic activity for my fitness. (See my foot problem.)
• Is there enough money for my future? I'm afraid there isn't. I'm scared.

My list ended with: I'm paralyzed with fear. I need to Golden Key all of this!

I had lunch with a friend later in September, a couple weeks after writing this list. I was telling her a little bit about it and she said that it sounded to her like I was fearing the future and that I needed to find some way to stay in the present.

That was like a light bulb going on in my head.

And since the middle of September I have been thinking about the present and how I am going to meet each day. Then on October 15, I turned my daily calendar "Simplicity. Inspiration for a simple life." The picture was a placid river with tall golden grass in the background and two rowboats in the foreground. The message was a quote by Buddha:

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.

I have a loner part of my personality. I love being alone and quiet. I like spending time in my sitting room at home writing, playing a game on my phone, reading or even just sitting quietly. When I get upset, the most important thing for me is regain my peace. I look around for it and then remember it's in me; it's been in me all along.

I've been asking friends about good books to read about staying present. If you have any ideas, let me know.

In the meantime, I know that my peace comes from within me. And all is well.

~ JEAN